I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
