last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't deserve a penis
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
