Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
