She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
