Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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