Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
