Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
