I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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