I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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