I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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