y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Randomize
