It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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