Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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