I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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