My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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