wrigley field is MILF paradise
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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