I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So apparently I’m into choking now
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