i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
