grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
