we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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