dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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