see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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