you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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