It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
