I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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