we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
