Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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