dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
