so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
