if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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