I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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