my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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