we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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