whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
