I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
