The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
