I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
