No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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