She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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