she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
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Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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