im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
God, I missed his penis.
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