Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
