Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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