Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
