I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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