booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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