Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
