Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
