He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
