I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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