im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
