if you like me you must not know who I am
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
