I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
