Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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