I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
