Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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